A Conversation between Mentor and Mentee

by Richard Mora and Marion Evashevski

We met six years ago as mentor and mentee. Richard was the excited student teacher and I (Marion) was the seasoned veteran with 24 years of teaching experience. For a year, we observed the other teach and conversed about numerous issues—from lesson plans to working with sensitive students. Since then, we have continued our dialogue on teaching and the value of the mentor-mentee experience.

Richard: Pedagogical philosophy is an important issue. In the course of their dialogues, mentors and mentees should work to understand one another’s ideas regarding teaching. In all likelihood, the mentee’s ideas may be less clear than the mentor’s, so talking to one another is that much more important.

One challenge for some mentees is developing their own teaching style. A mentor should never pressure a mentee into being more like the mentor; individuality is critical for the development of the student teacher. A student teacher should feel that there is not a right and a wrong way of doing things.

Marion: Talking about teaching styles is important, but a difficult conversation to start. I certainly would resist a script if given one. We need to think about ways to address pedagogical approaches. Is it better as part of a discussion about individual students? Individual lessons?

In our conversations, pedagogical philosophies came up as a result of talking about something else—a book, or an author such as Paulo Freire (1996). You were such an avid reader that starting the conversation wasn’t difficult. Perhaps prior to the student-teaching experience, both mentors and mentees could facilitate conversations by reading some of the same authors, such as Freire (1996), Jonathan Kozol (1992), Beverly Daniel Tatum (1997), and Leonard Steinhorn and Barbara Diggs-Brown (1999).

My preference is for mentees to be advised to begin these conversations during their observations because, when you observe, you have the opportunity to question procedures, strategies, and teaching methods. For me, to be asked a question that causes me to pause and reflect on my practice is refreshing.

Richard: We talked about what took place in class and the material we were reading. Starting up a conversation artificially with a list of prompt questions would not prove useful. I like the idea of determining a specific time for mentors and mentees to reflect and debrief.
By the way, how do you think students in the classroom affect the mentee-mentor relationship?

Marion: That’s a delicate issue, especially when students respond better to the mentee teacher. Because of the proximity of their ages, students simply may relate better to the mentee. You were very tuned in to their pop culture—music, rap, comedy, etc. The students loved your ability to make connections for them and to use examples they understood. Often, mentors don’t appreciate how a teacher’s ability to relate to the youth culture can enrich the classroom environment.

Richard: We also should consider gender and race. I recall a number of female student teachers who had male mentors that made them feel uncomfortable in some way. Usually it had to do with the power dynamic, how male mentors spoke to them—a bit condescending, at times.

Marion: Your experiences as a Latino were so different from mine—the environment you grew up in, your self-perceptions, goals and aspirations, and your bilingualism. I was curious about what you could teach me.

Did my being white, middle-class, Midwestern affect how you related to me? I mean, after four years at Harvard College, you had become adept at dealing with white people and living in white culture, but how did our differences affect our working relationship? From my perspective, it enriched our relationship and enhanced the classroom experience for the students. But I’m curious about your perspective.

I will say this: Mentor teachers must be open-minded, not just in terms of not allowing stereotypes to affect their perceptions and attitudes toward their mentees, but also in terms that they might learn something from the mentees—from their past experiences, talents and interests, or pedagogy. A colleague of mine used to tell her student teachers that she would not consider the mentor-mentee experience a success unless she was learning as much as the mentee was learning.

Richard: My experiences at Harvard helped me interact with people of other races and class backgrounds. However, other growth experiences helped me more. I can be open with people who are comfortable with themselves. For example, I had no problem telling you—a white woman—about my life, because you also shared aspects of your life, had a genuine interest in learning about other people’s experiences, and you weren’t judgmental. Ideally, mentors and mentees would get to know one another rather than classify each other. Of course, this requires risk on both sides. A person must be able to admit when he or she is wrong or does not know something.

Marion: I agree. Being open and interested in learning about the other person is probably the best way to get beyond race or class differences. Being willing to admit mistakes or to take correction is also important. But, what do we suggest to mentors or mentees who need to be right? Or to those who feel they can’t show weakness?

Richard: Good questions. I would tell them that they should reflect on what kind of teachers they want to be. If I always feel the need to be right, what kind of teacher does that make me? If I can’t show weakness to my colleagues or students, how does that affect my teaching? Because we interact with others on a daily basis, especially young people, we must be mindful of what we share directly or indirectly.

Marion: I agree. Self reflection and openness to new ideas and correction are critical to the teaching process as well as to the mentor-mentee relationship. For example, a past mentee of mine mentioned an issue that happened to a friend of hers. Her friend’s cooperating teacher (mentor) commented that the way she dressed might be distracting to the students. The conversation was uncomfortable for both of them, which I can imagine. Ideally, though, we could talk about the awkwardness; be open and honest in the relationship. Some moments may be uncomfortable, but having the conversation is what is important. The relationship depends on communication.

Closing Thoughts
In no way does this exchange exhaust the issues we’ve touched on regarding the mentor-mentee relationship. However, our hope is that our exchange can serve as a catalyst, encouraging mentors and mentees to engage one another in conversations about the particular nature of their relationships.