“You don’t know that Susan is abused at home, do you?” my colleague asked.
I didn’t know and I was dumbstruck.
I was in my second year of teaching and discussing the student (we’ll call her Susan) with a colleague. I’d just learned Susan was to be in my classroom for a second year. As a Chapter One/Title I math teacher, students were pulled out of their regular classes and joined me for math class. My students had previously scored low on assessments. Some had limited abilities, but many—like Susan—had made tremendous progress and participated well in class. I was pleased she’d be returning the next year.
The particulars of Susan’s case and what ultimately ensued are another story but what I remember to this day, and what I teach my future teachers regularly, is this: you...don’t...know. You don’t know what your students face every day or on any particular day. Bobby’s stepdad may pop into your door and let you know Bobby’s dog died, and Jasmine’s mom may let you know when they are trying to regulate Jasmine’s medicines, but on the whole, you really don’t know what students may face at any specific time. And let’s face it, many guardians of the children who probably face the greatest difficulties are not going to share those difficulties with you.
Once, a friend called me to check on my then-second-grade-son after school. To my surprise, her son was worried about mine and shared his worries with his mother, my friend. The whole class had witnessed a third classmate’s mother drag and beat her son into the classroom that morning. Evidently, my son had been distraught over the event. I didn’t know. My son lives in the moment, so once some time had lapsed, he was ok—impacted (he still vividly recalls the event), but ok. But all the students in the class witnessed the event and I’m sure some were even more distressed than my son and may have carried the trauma with them for some time. Again, you...don’t...know what may have occurred or may be occurring in children’s lives, and you don’t know how well individuals are coping with those occurrences.
Following recent economic uncertainties (Weixel, 2024), and the political divide (News 12 Staff, 2024), stressors at home are more pronounced, rage may be building, and needs are more likely to go unmet. People are frightened, including teachers. Children detect the anger, sense the tension, and may rightly feel they are, in part, causing the fear. De-escalate students’ anxiety through the following practices:
- Provide safe spaces for students (NIH, 2025), whether online or in person. It may be their only safe space.
Treat students as if they may be facing some tragedy because, real or perceived, some of them are.
Realize that you...don’t...know.
Resources:
Nathaniel Weixel, “Parental Stress Levels Are Surging. Here's Why,” The Hill, April 22, 2024, https://thehill.com/policy/4872063-parental-stress-modern-era.
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Dr. Irene Pittman Aiken serves as Dean of The Graduate School at the University of North Carolina at Pembroke. A dedicated educator and leader, Dr. Aiken holds a Ph.D. and B.A. from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and an M.A.Ed. from Pembroke State University (now UNCP). She has been a faculty member of the School of Education at UNCP since 1994, championing education and academic excellence across the institution and beyond. |