Picture this: You’re in your first year of teaching. You’ve just learned that one of your students’ caregivers died over the weekend. You care deeply, but your brain instantly panics:
What do I say? What if I say the wrong thing? What if I make it worse?
If that feels familiar, you’re not alone. Most educators never received formal preparation on how to support grieving students—yet almost all children (about 90%) will experience the death of a close family member or friend.
Grief isn’t just something students “go through” at home. It shows up in classrooms every day—in the empty seat, the sudden tears, the short temper, the daydreaming, the drop in grades. Bereavement can lead to decreased academic performance, social withdrawal, and behavioral challenges that are easy to misread as “not trying” or “acting out.”
As part of KDP’s partnership with the Coalition to Support Grieving Students, we want you to feel more confident stepping into this important role.
Why your response matters
The Coalition notes that educators’ and classmates’ responses can either become a source of stability during a student’s grief, or an additional hurdle to overcome.
Think back to your own life. Maybe there was a time you were going through something hard, and one adult’s quiet support made all the difference. You can be that person for a grieving student by:
- Noticing changes in behavior or mood
- Offering a simple, sincere acknowledgment of their loss
- Giving them some flexibility with schoolwork
- Helping classmates know how to be kind and supportive
These are small actions with big impact.
Three mindset shifts for grief-aware teachers
1. “I have to fix this” → “I can accompany this.”
You can’t “fix” a death, and students don’t expect you to. What they do need is a steady adult who isn’t afraid of their sadness. Even a brief, private check-in like,
“I heard about your [person who died]. I’m so sorry. I’m glad you’re here, and I’m here for you,”
can help them feel seen and less alone.
2. “I’ll wait for the student to bring it up” → “I’ll gently open the door.”
Many grieving kids worry about “making it awkward” or upsetting others, so they stay quiet. A quick, compassionate check-in—especially before a day that might be hard, like Children’s Grief Awareness Day—signals that it’s okay to talk. The Coalition specifically encourages educators to check in personally with students they know are grieving.
You might say:
- “Some days might be harder than others. If today feels tough, you can let me know.”
- “If you ever want to talk or need a break, just tell me or give me this signal.”
3. “This is just a family issue” → “This is a school issue, too.”
Grief doesn’t stay at home when the bell rings. Because students spend so much of their day at school, educators are key partners in their grief journey.
The Coalition emphasizes that grief can affect academic performance, concentration, and behavior—and that educators have an enormous opportunity to improve outcomes by demonstrating awareness and offering support.
That might look like:
- Adjusting deadlines or workloads temporarily
- Offering alternative ways to show learning (e.g., oral responses instead of written work on a tough day)
- Coordinating with school counselors, social workers, or psychologists
- Helping classmates understand how to be supportive peers
Building your grief support toolkit
The Coalition to Support Grieving Students offers a free, educator-focused website with more than 20 video training modules on topics like: how to talk with grieving students, connecting with families, responding to a school crisis, and supporting peer relationships. These modules come with summaries, handouts, and step-by-step guidance you can use in your classroom or field placement.
You’ll also find:
If you’re in a teacher preparation program, consider exploring these resources with your classmates or asking a professor to build them into a course module. If you’re already teaching, you might share them with your grade-level team, mentor teacher, or administrator.
Children’s Grief Awareness Day: A moment to start
Children’s Grief Awareness Day is observed every year on the third Thursday in November—this year, that’s November 20, 2025. It’s a powerful time to:
- Learn more about how grief shows up in school.
- Check in with students you know have experienced a loss.
- Talk with your colleagues about becoming a Grief-Sensitive School.
The Coalition’s guidance for “Recognizing Grief Awareness Day in Your School” includes activity ideas, talking points, and links to support programs if your school wants to go deeper.
You don’t have to do this alone
Grief can feel overwhelming—for students and for teachers. But you are not expected to know everything or do everything. You’re simply invited to take one step:
- Learn a little more.
- Say one kind, brave sentence.
- Share a resource with one colleague.
As KDP members, you’re already committed to care, belonging, and community. Supporting grieving students is one more way to live those values in your daily practice.