You’re planning a fun Mother’s Day activity. You’ve got the materials ready. What you might not know is that for at least one student in your class, this week is really hard.
A student’s mother might have died. She might live in another state, be deployed, or be incarcerated. Her whereabouts may not even be known to her child. These aren’t rare situations. They show up in classrooms every year, often without warning.
You may not know which students are carrying this kind of loss, and that’s okay. You don’t need to know every student’s story to handle this well.
Keep the framing broad.
Instead of directing the activity specifically toward mothers, open it up. Something like: “For this activity, think about your mother or another important female adult in your life — someone who has cared for you and offered support. If your mother isn’t living or doesn’t live with you, you can still include her if you’d like.”
That one small shift makes the activity accessible to a much wider range of students without drawing attention to anyone.
Watch the room.
Even with flexible framing, some students may still show signs of discomfort. You don’t need to call them out. Just check in quietly and ask if they’d like to adapt the activity. Maybe they make a card for a grandmother, an aunt, or another adult who matters to them. Give them a private option, not a public one.
If you already know, reach out early.
If you’re aware that a student has experienced a loss, talk to them before the activity happens, not during. Describe what you’re planning and ask if they’re comfortable. Let them have a say. That conversation alone can make a real difference.
This applies beyond Mother’s Day.
Father’s Day, Valentine’s Day, Thanksgiving—any holiday that centers on family can be complicated for students who are grieving or whose family situations are complex. The same approach works across the board: keep the framing flexible, stay observant, and offer options.
You’re not going to get this perfect every time, and that’s okay. What matters is that you’re thinking about it at all. Small adjustments show students that you see them, and that counts for more than you might realize.
For more guidance on supporting grieving students, download the guide or visit grievingstudents.org. The Coalition to Support Grieving Students offers free training modules, handouts, and practical resources, all free to download.